Sometimes, I just can't help but feel like I don't always get what I deserve or the things around me are not meeting up to my standards, they are never good enough for me. That I don't feel that I am being treated fairly, that I deserve to be given more consideration than others. That I am far smarter that my other calssmates, yet they always get better grades than me. I am ashamed to admit this, but yes, this is how I often feel nowadays.
After I attended this school that I am in, it seems to me that I have never been happy, never been satisfied and am always disappointed and frustrated of everything- my teachers, my classmates, the school, my test results, my family even with the miserable jeepney drivers that I encounter everyday.
I have to admit that even I myself find it hard to understand. I tried to formulate answers and to stop being so cynical about the things that surround me. I tried to avoid comparing my new school to the previous university that I attended but sometimes, I really feel like crying to the point that I desperately want to go back to where I was- to my previous college life.
But then it finally hit me- I realized that it is all up to me to make myself feel miserable or to get adjusted to the new environment that I am in right now. And finally, I think, I know what the problem is-- I'm arrogant.
It is not easy for me to get adjusted because I refuse to accept the fact that I am in a totally different place with totally different people now. I was absorbed in reminiscing my happy, carefree life in the past that I've reached the point where I developed a very negative perception of the the things that I am involved at present.
I'm not sure if the other second coursers like me feel the same way, but I honestly do.
Right now, I have resolved to take things lightly (but mind you, I have no intentions of being a delinquent student). I decided not to take myself seriously but instead, be serious with my studies without being obsessed of always being the number one.
In order for me to be happy, I have to accept my limitations and weaknesses and not to expect too much from myself.
I have to admit that there are people who know far better than me. There are people who are smarter, more eloquent and more receptive than me.
That there are people who will not like you and you don't have to kill yourself in trying to please them.
That there are times when you will be not be fairly treated but there will be people who will be kind to you, who would even give you second or third chances when you make a mistake.
That true friends are not measured by their kindness and politeness toward you. Friends would criticize you, even crush your ego if it is necessary for them to do so, just to save you from being an asshole.
That I am just but a small dot in this wide universe and that I cannot control anything else but myself.
That I have to remove the chip off my shoulder and accept my frailty and limitations in order for me to understand and enjoy the best things in life.
There. I said it. Goodness, writing this blog really helped a lot and I feel a whole lot better now as compared 15 minutes ago. God bless me!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
What They Have To Say About Me
My friend, Jello Cubelo, wrote a blog entry wherein he chose several Friendster Testimonials for himself to show what his friends say about him. I find it very amusing so I decided to do the same thing in my blog.
With all due respect to my good friend, I would like to reiterate that this whole idea was his own. I just imitated his style because it's always nice to feel good about yourself through the words of the people who are close to your heart. Thank you very much, Jel. I hope you won't mind me being a copy-cat for now! Peace!
Here are some of the best Friendster Testimonials from my profile:
"She is very smart, very hard working, very down to earth, a very sincere person, yep, she is all that and more." - Nickson Uriarte, one of my good friends back in my Psychology days. He was one of the first friends that I had when I was a neophite in Silliman University and in Dumaguete City.
"I luv this girl bcoz maski daghan ayo cya og appointments, naa gihapon cyay time sa iyang friends... One Of A Kind... A smart fighter... Owns a genuine heart... Finds comfort in writing... A good friend, sister and daughter."- Suzette Calibo, one of my true best friends, a fellow hopeless romantic, and a very trustworthy person.
"Lenlen is one of my best friends whom I haven't seen in 5 years... But friendship when it's real does not die, even with distance, it stays in our hearts. That's how I describe Len2x as a friend.. she is very loyal and you will be lucky if you'll earn her friendship."- Sheila Joyce Shia, my bestfriend when I was a Freshman at Edith Carson Hall, SU. We're the exact opposites, but what's important is that we're bestfriends.
"Very friendly yet maldita at the same time." -Anne Christine Torres, one of my students in Psychology 11 when I was a Graduate Teaching Fellow for the SU Psychology Department.
"You can talk to her about everything.From deep philosophies to nonesense talks... Meanie back- to- school lady!" - Maitri Thamavithya, one of Silliman's innovating minds, Thainoy, Thai Scrooge, my best friendster friend.
"Chika galore almost everyday. Bahala walay study basta maka chika lang jud!"- Liza Marie Dangkulos, former dormmate at Occidental Hall, best chika-mate and a very smart lady (langga ni Mark B.)!
"It amazes me to know someone like her. If you think that she's serious, mind you, she can be childish sometimes... and hopeless romantic too." -Cheenie Lamayan, a former dormmate, chika- mate, fellow hopeless romantic and one of SU's cutest!
"She has a good heart yet sometimes her actions are misinterpreted by many." -Precious Anne Murillo one of my good friends back in my Psychology days.
"A strong woman, very independent... looking for a guy to be her partner in life."- Cris Arboleda, EdD Candidate, former colleague at FUHS, a friend who never fails to make my stomach ache while laughing at his jokes!
"[You can tell] when she is happy and when she is really mad!"- Lui Jovero, a good friend, a trusted teammate when I was working at Convergys as a Fraud Analyst for JPM-Chase.
"Yan ang astig kong roommate. Mahilig sa books, mabait pag- tulog! Honestly, mabait yang si Len saka malambing din yan. Wag nyo lang i-po-provoke kasi papalag talaga yan!" - Liway Derequito, former roommate at Brosas Dormitory, one of my trusted friends when I was working in Makati.
"Impression sa uban, ASTIG! Can't blame them astig man jud! But she's a very loving sistah to her super lambing brother!"- Betchai Obañana, my former roommate in Larena Hall, SU; a very friendly, very lovable person.
"Now I know that you need to know Len better in order to understand her. Better to be frank than to be 'Orocan.'" - Leilani Banzon, one of my good friends during my Convergys Days, a friend that no one will ever want to lose!
"Very thoughtful... a smart, independent person who knows what she wants and what she doesn't... always talks with sense.. simple but really rocks!" - Grace Soberano, former teammate when I was working at Convergys.
With all due respect to my good friend, I would like to reiterate that this whole idea was his own. I just imitated his style because it's always nice to feel good about yourself through the words of the people who are close to your heart. Thank you very much, Jel. I hope you won't mind me being a copy-cat for now! Peace!
Here are some of the best Friendster Testimonials from my profile:
"She is very smart, very hard working, very down to earth, a very sincere person, yep, she is all that and more." - Nickson Uriarte, one of my good friends back in my Psychology days. He was one of the first friends that I had when I was a neophite in Silliman University and in Dumaguete City.
"I luv this girl bcoz maski daghan ayo cya og appointments, naa gihapon cyay time sa iyang friends... One Of A Kind... A smart fighter... Owns a genuine heart... Finds comfort in writing... A good friend, sister and daughter."- Suzette Calibo, one of my true best friends, a fellow hopeless romantic, and a very trustworthy person.
"Lenlen is one of my best friends whom I haven't seen in 5 years... But friendship when it's real does not die, even with distance, it stays in our hearts. That's how I describe Len2x as a friend.. she is very loyal and you will be lucky if you'll earn her friendship."- Sheila Joyce Shia, my bestfriend when I was a Freshman at Edith Carson Hall, SU. We're the exact opposites, but what's important is that we're bestfriends.
"Very friendly yet maldita at the same time." -Anne Christine Torres, one of my students in Psychology 11 when I was a Graduate Teaching Fellow for the SU Psychology Department.
"You can talk to her about everything.From deep philosophies to nonesense talks... Meanie back- to- school lady!" - Maitri Thamavithya, one of Silliman's innovating minds, Thainoy, Thai Scrooge, my best friendster friend.
"Chika galore almost everyday. Bahala walay study basta maka chika lang jud!"- Liza Marie Dangkulos, former dormmate at Occidental Hall, best chika-mate and a very smart lady (langga ni Mark B.)!
"It amazes me to know someone like her. If you think that she's serious, mind you, she can be childish sometimes... and hopeless romantic too." -Cheenie Lamayan, a former dormmate, chika- mate, fellow hopeless romantic and one of SU's cutest!
"She has a good heart yet sometimes her actions are misinterpreted by many." -Precious Anne Murillo one of my good friends back in my Psychology days.
"A strong woman, very independent... looking for a guy to be her partner in life."- Cris Arboleda, EdD Candidate, former colleague at FUHS, a friend who never fails to make my stomach ache while laughing at his jokes!
"[You can tell] when she is happy and when she is really mad!"- Lui Jovero, a good friend, a trusted teammate when I was working at Convergys as a Fraud Analyst for JPM-Chase.
"Yan ang astig kong roommate. Mahilig sa books, mabait pag- tulog! Honestly, mabait yang si Len saka malambing din yan. Wag nyo lang i-po-provoke kasi papalag talaga yan!" - Liway Derequito, former roommate at Brosas Dormitory, one of my trusted friends when I was working in Makati.
"Impression sa uban, ASTIG! Can't blame them astig man jud! But she's a very loving sistah to her super lambing brother!"- Betchai Obañana, my former roommate in Larena Hall, SU; a very friendly, very lovable person.
"Now I know that you need to know Len better in order to understand her. Better to be frank than to be 'Orocan.'" - Leilani Banzon, one of my good friends during my Convergys Days, a friend that no one will ever want to lose!
"Very thoughtful... a smart, independent person who knows what she wants and what she doesn't... always talks with sense.. simple but really rocks!" - Grace Soberano, former teammate when I was working at Convergys.
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